Category Archives: Instrument

Goodbye Google

Two weeks ago, running errands, around town, in the Late-Afternoon, returning Home, it suddenly Dawned on me: “there’s not a single place I’d gone to, by, or through, where—like a ‘ton of Tribbles, born already-pregnant—cognition came: Surveillance cameras were doubling-themselves-up; Reproducing themselves, (in in-your-face fashion), faster than those Tribbles, when The Enterprise™ was infested, by them (“The Trouble with Tribbles” episode, in Star Trek–the Original Series™. When I got home, While Listening to a couple of YouTube Podcasts, on the aforementioned Issue—reaching my last nm of tolerance—without even being concerned with all Deletions I’d have from other sites, I DISCONTINUED MY “GOOGLE” ACCOUNT, ALONG WITH ALL ITS SERVICES. (Hopefully Gone, Finitto, Caput…, I Deleted it All.

Since I use WP’s Complimentary Account, for both my blogs, I’m unable to Upload those Videos directly, within the WordPresss environment, my only choice having been uploading them first on YouTube, as required, then linking them, back to my corresponding Blog Entry.

They’re Gone! And so are my Links.!

It’s not in my Power to be able to pay, for these two sites (ma89, and gmf), thus, by my conscious Act, all but one Link are gone (“Clarisse TWU Interview, found through residentskitz’s youtube channel, is the only one still available.

So sorry it had to be this way, and I’ve no regret having discontinued my Google Group Account. Indeed, I’ve missed it far less than I thought it would be!

“Mine Eyes, now Irrevocably-Opened, cannot be Closed, or just Squinted-from, any longer; for now The Truth is past being just “conspiracy theories,” but Glaring Fact of Life, climbing out of very dark rocks, insulting our Selfhood, our “Freewill,” compelling us into a fearful lifestyle, rather than making our Own “mistakes,” learning from them, ultimately, cognizing why, and correcting them… Surveillance is an ABERRANT Societal Ill, which—though already Quite Late, cannot be Silenced, by (pretending we’re) ignoring it, when in truth, slowly bringing utter sadness we waited so long, now it’s too late!

Pandora’s Box has bee Opened, and the only thing left for us, is the Last Item in her Box, IF we Shut it quickly-enough: “HOPE!”

May anyone truly deny it…, still?

As for me, (at least with Google Group Services), I say: “Good Riddance!” This will not be the only service, either. i shall be considering which one, next. (Calm Down! I don’t see myself closing these two Blogs, in the foreseeable time—unless it’s done by its host).

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1991 “Clarisse TWU Interview” – (Uploaded by son, on YouTube)

Hi Everyone,

My Fractured Wrist seems to be Healing Well; the February 19 (2.5 hrs-long) Surgery, repairing a really bad Fracture, has now turned me “slightly Bionic” (LOL), with a Titanium Plate and 7 impossibly-long Screws, all the way, from my Outer Wrist Bone, halfway Down my Forearm (I’ll Upload the Pictures I took of my arm, later, for I’m still functioning solely with my Non-Dominant, LH, a Stylus, and a obstemperous Tablet.

This Entry’s Main Purpose is to Showcase a former Classmate’s Story on me, my Music and Its raisón d’être, the final product  of which I’d never seen before, until my Son, was able to Digitize it from its original “Sony BetaMax,” and uploaded it on his Channel, instead of “Gaea’s Midwife,” which is where it belongs.

So, Thanks to my Son, for his Translating Formats, and to my former Journalism classmate Rayvia Morgan, TWU – Texas Woman’s University – Denton, Texas, Class of 1991, for this nice, final Version of her Story on a Broadcasting Assignment (Thank You, both: Rayvia, and […] 🙂 gmf (aka: ma89)

Clarisse(sm) 1991 TWU Interview – Enjoy  :))

https://youtu.be/eQoJuYvQelw

NOTE:  This Video was for School Assignment Ms Morgan had. It was subsequently broadcast numerous times over a three (3) year period on TWU’s Cable channel. I didn’t have Cable–only the Betamax Video–and it was friends and fans who’d be tellling me: “I saw you on TV, last night…” Where (c) is concerned, Rayvia personally handed me the Betamax video–then already only used by Pros; the Reproduction of and (c) permission allowance, are fully implied and understood, by her very actions. Any question should be addressed to me, at lightseeker89 at icloud dot com, (NO SPAM, or TROLLS, PLEASE). UPDATE: My Bad, so, some Information is either changed and/or omitted.

Love IS The ONE and Only Way, to a Better Tomorrow. ma89💗

Gorgeous, Calm Sea. Photo by Adam Dodge, cc ça. 2009 Seattle, WA, USA

Wrist Surgery Done-Recovery Begins

My Baldwin Studio Upright, Companion of 25+ Yrs. Bought Spring 1991
Gonna Miss playing You, Buddy! Photo, cc 2015, by Clarisse℠ , York, PA, USA

Hi Everyonne… (Pardon the misspellings; they’re so frequent now, it’d be impoîssie to try & corrrct them all–i.e.: Time-conuhvsuming/also, due to pain med side-effectsc …)

Surgery went eell lasted longer than predicted, wrist VERHY Painnvful2 of 5 fingers feel as iff they’re Broken. The slighest touch & they go into a 😩😩😩🤕😷😷…

Must go now!!!

Namasté cg n :-/

 post-Surgery arm. 

ma89/aka: Gaea’s Modwife 

Lovely Short Dream Lesson I’ve Found

While leafing through an old Notebook–filled with Poetry, Insights, Essays, etc–I came Across this very short, May 20, 2004 Entry of a Dream Lesson I’d woken-up with, in my head. Here it is:

“To whom do you offer assistance?” Was the question posed by the Traveler;

“To Everyone, according to Their needs,” was the reply given.

__________________
Do with this what you may! ma89🌸

Since my Knowings of Life, give me an Understanding that: “Coincidences are God’s way of pointing us into a certain action, or direction,” I tend to Follow the .

I was actually looking for a Poem I wished to Post, and ran straight into this Dream, instead. It would be Nice if whoever this Entry Speaks to, or be Useful for, in some ways, to let us know, and see where it takes us.

Have a Lovely Day, filled with the Principles of the Sanskrit word: “Namastè” ma89🌸

Watch “Angellis Traballium by Clarisse℠ ©(P)1995; ©(V.P)…” on YouTube

Angellis Traballium by Clarisse ©(P)1995; ©(V.P) 2015

Well, All efforts to get this video published any other way have failed. I’m giving it another try–wish I could afford to go Premium, I’d publish an entire Album of my Piano Music.

OTOH, soon, I’ll be moving closer to my Spiritual Family–and there’s this Gorgeous, (and Gorgeous-sounding), 100-yr-old, very well-kept Cunningham Concert Grand Upright waiting for me, as soon as I move.

Problem is: Life keeps getting in the way of my moving–the latest, being finding out that only is there Nerve Damage, between my feet and spine; I’ve “mysteriously” developed “Scoliosis,” never before detected, and worst yet, learning that my “Falling” and “Walking as if I’m drunk” is partially ‘cuz “…apparently one of my legs is longer than the other…”

Why did it take 60 years, a 5-yr stint in a wheelchair (actually, 3 chairs), a failed marriage, when my Rock-Singing husband again felt Music’s Irresistible Siren call (look up Warren Jeffrey Motter), and, as a Musician myself, I understood it, and though initially I missed him, of course; eventually, I got over it, and am Happy for him following his Muse.

Why did it take at least two (2) Decades’-worth of searching for the answer, from Doctor, to Doctor, to Doctor, from Houston, from York, to Hershey, to Johns Hopkins, back to York…, (I’ll finish this later, or I’ll be late for Church tomorrow…)

Meanwhile, Shut-off your “Golden Ears” and enjoy the Music, overlooking the fact my Baldwin piano is now untuneable. The Song and ITS Message are What Matters.

Namastè,

(Note, my Posts, by nature, will reflect what is foremost in my mind, be it Health, Mental, Spiritual, Activist, etc. This blog is not meant to be in a Popularity Contest–and I know many of you feel the same way about your Blogs 😉
__________
(Entry from previous, failed post, introing same song:

Hi Everyone, Since I’m having soo much trouble Uploading this Video directly onto Gaea’s Midwife’s (Sister site to this one)–and since on my very first aattempt at Linking it with this Site…, I can “get” a hint: It appears the Universe wishes for this Musical Interlude be here, in my ma89 site, rather than the gaea’s midwife site.

So, here it is! Short and sweet; my 1995 Original Piece, “Angellis Traballium” (perhaps, sometime, soon, I’ll tell the Story of how it came into Existence, because I KNOW it’s a Story worth telling). Angellis Traballium by Clarisse

Namastè Everyone, and Enjoy! (WARNING: “Golden Eareds” are advised to skip it, lest your hearing goes out of tune 😉 (see notes on the youtube site). 😉

Watch “Andrew Harvey – ‘The Death And The Birth’ – Inter…” on YouTube

Hi, Just to Share this Most Wonderful Conversation, (Interview), between (the Mystic) Andrew Harvey, and his Interviewer.
(Alert: This Video is to be Sipped, in Slow Doses, not Gulped in one go). One thing I’ve been Learning, of late, has been to “sloooow dooooowwwnn,” (something we, Westerners tend to forget, ignore, consider “laziness!” May I humbly recommend you all “Think again!”

I’d never heard of this guy, before tonight, (and at first found everything I could, wrong with him, and his appearance), yet,  continuing to *Listen* to what he had to say, not what he looked like, I was able to overcome that barrier, and actually Learn, and Question my Own Values–something I’ve been doing a lot of lately–put them aside, and Learn from what he had to say.

I highly recommend this Video; this is Why I’m entering it here.

Namaskar, ma89

Andrew Harvey, https://youtu.be/fmHQNGBxtvE

A Pause for Blue Ribbon Minds Month

Hi, This entry is in Response to a Story Re a Secret Vid Released by an Incarcerated Transgender Woman. Since–though a Hetero, myself–I personally do have LGBTH Friends, these Issues touch me.

OTOH, since May is “Blue Ribbon Minds Month”–and I’ve been carrying this story with me, it happened to me, in 2012–I’m now making it Public here, for the first Time.

(Please Note This entry was originally written, as a Comment on Someone else’s Blog. Since it became so long, I placed it here, instead): l

The same problem (forbiddance of ANYTHING with a Mic and/or Camera, along with severe maltreatment by staff) also exists in Hospital (Adult “Baby-Sitting”) “Psych” Wards–supposedly “treating” the Vulnerable Individuals , who are placed there, Voluntarily or involuntarily. For the Record, this isn’t something like “Hearsay ,” or any such thing! As my Blog’s Name implies: “manicartist…” I’m an Individual with a Genetically-Inherited, Lifelong (Blessing in Disguise) condition, called “Manic Depression,” (currently fadishely called “Bipolar… This, or That.“). Frankly, from what I’ve personally experienced, on five separate, vastly different occasions, under different circumstances–with, but a Single Exception, at an Expensive, Private, “Hospital” which appeared more a Resort SPA, than a Psychiatric Hospital–Three of the Five Hospitals had Staff and Policies, not unlike that mid-1970s’ Movie, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” (with Jack Nicholson), most even had the Quintessential “Nurse Ratchet,” One, in Houston, Texas, had both, Ratchet, an Overly-muscled Bully…err Security guard, so big his standing in the Middle of the Lock up Ward, left little space for the actual Patients

I Often Felt it was THEY, the Ones, Who Should Be Locked-Up, by the ” Men in the White Coats;” Not Us In my View, the level of…, (passive-aggressive…, dare I say: bordering on Cruel…), their Behavior towards Us is not Only Extremely Traumatizing, Inhumane…, It was/Is Downright Criminal!

Therefore, the Issue here, is HOW WE’RE TREATED, while (essentially) “Incarcerated.”

My Experience was nothing Healthy. It was all Harrowingly Traumatizing–and this is the 1st time I make it Public, (after all, May IS “Blue Ribbon Minds” Month).

It was late May, 2012; my Youngest Son was about to go on a Year-long Bicycle/Camping Trip, through Eurasia, starting with 2.5 months in China, always going West.

My stress Level was extremely High, but otherwise–though Worried, as any Loving Mother, in her Right Mind, Would–I was Stable.

Since my “15-minute Psychiatrist” wasn’t the type to Listen to me, I’d made a timed 15-Min Video of myself, hoping to simply give him a “Heads-Up” of what type of Motherly ordeal I was about to go through, until Mid-2013.

As Someone who Lives with a set of Conditions such as mine, I Believed it The Responsibly sensible thing to Do.

Boy, was I WRONG! <

Since I did have a history of Suicide Attempts–the last being nearly 30 years ago, and I no longer believed in such Solution to problems–I naively told him on the Video, using the big "S" word he needn't worry, due to my Knowings (ie: Reincarnation, etc), such wouldn’t be cause of concern.

Before he even finished the Video, he put my iPod Touch down, took some Notes, made a brief Phone call, and in about 10-15 minutes, I was met outside his office by 2 Female Nurses, accompanied by 2 “Butchie” (man-like) Female Armed Guards; all 4 of whom stayed with me until the Ambulance Arrived.

Immediately upon spotting the guns, a rising m yet well-guarded Panic attack began rising within me. Since I was nicely dressed in a Classy Paisley Midi, split Skirt, and Matching sleeveless Blouse, and my Hair was up done Casually but Stylishly, I don’t wear Makeup, they did treat me with Dry Cordiality.

During the Ride, fearing the worst, And seized by a Panic Attack, I made the mistake of Deleting my Video Message…, Now I had No proof my (former) Psychiatrist’d lie through his teeth about my condition, both for my Admission, and 5 days later to a Judge, trying to keep me in, 21 additional days.

Upon arrival at “3North” Ward, (as it is known by the community), I was dispossessed of EVERYTHING, sandals and all; all I was allowed to keep were my Skirt, panty, and Blouse, no Bra Allowed, no Hair Pins, only a Simple HeairBand for a Ponny tail was given me. For the next five (5) days, I was systematically DENIED Medications I needed, whilst Medicated with Medication I’d taken in the past with bad Results…, this latter, and their Refusal at providing me Valerian Root tea (Nature’s Xanax), and Dandelion Root tea (Nature’s Valium), somehow Uninhibited my “No-Cussing” self-Policy, and every day at around 2pm, out came the extremely Labile, Saylor-Mouthed (someone else from within me, I could neither stop, nor recognize) who did not let up her Cynicism, Mouthiness, Rudeness (Mind you, this behavior was strictly directed To Staff and Doctors, alike, NOT other Patients, with most of Whom, I got along quite well).

I also couldn’t stop being ultra-cynnical, (reportedly) Disruptive, during the Silliest of Groups, we had each afternoon–led by a(n obviously-untrained) Nurse’s Aide, going through the “News” of the day ,(all-Censored, of course), from the local Newspaper.

Since my Bachelors is Print Journalism, with a large Dose of Philosophy (E and W), including Self-audited Courses from Oxford University’s Philosophy Dept, via Podcasts, in Critical Thinking, Logic, and Anything else Prof. Marianne Talbot would Lecture about.

I’d uncontrollably blurt out what I thought of those “News.”

All the same, not just me, we were all Infantilized, treated as if we were two-year-olds, yet expected to Behave to Staff and each other like Mature, Stable, 50-Something Un-Medicated Individuals…

The way we were treated with threats of being locked in our rooms, for hours, the Lack of Real Activities, being made fun of, not being listened to–treated worse than children, all of it, has allowed me to (years later), realize WHY they confiscated my Sole Source of Meditative Music and Uplifting, Anxiety-Reducing Device (my iPod Touch): not only did it have a Mic and Camera, it could also record Vids, and connect to the Outside, Via WiFi.

Thus, ultimately, like the Transgender Woman and her Treatment in the Georgia Jail, Mirrors somewhat, HOW we, the so-called “Mentally Ill” have, are, and still will be, in the foreseable future, “Treated” either in Jail or in Hospital’s Psych Wards. The Total Lack of Freedom, and Truly Insane Treatment we’re dished-out, is nearly the same.

In my Case, the Hospital’s staff always searched Visitors and whatever was brought to me. They also would do “sweeps” of our rooms when we were busy elsewhere in the ward–things disappeared, went to the wrong side, from where they’d been…, our Fragile Minds made even more Fragile by their totally incompetent, Inhumane, Idiotic, Unnecessarily Cruel, Infantilizing OverDrugging, Poor-Food Choices (I’m Vegetarian & they literally made fun of my refusing to eat meat, esp. when I said I didn’t wish to “lower my Energetic Frequency, by doing so…” (something which is perfectly Normal in my System of Understanding of Life). Their comment to the Doctor about this, was Ignorantly disparaging, at best; Utterly Incompetent, at its Worst.

Reading about this Secret Video, made me truly wish we could somehow do the same at a few of the Psych Wards I’ve been in. This last one, being a most Traumatizing, unforgettable, Life-and-Mind-Changing Experience.

Rather than whatever “Healing” the Doctor may have pretended to see happen, failed miserably!

My takeaway from it was Fear of Institutionizatiion, A fruitless Searching for a better Psychiatrist; Learning I COULD NEVER TRUST ANOTHER DOCTOR, PSYCHIATRIST, THERAPIST, ADVOCACY GROUP MEMBER…, No-One in this Field…, Ever Again! Indeed, in my View, they’re all a Bunch of Dr. Mengelas…!

They nearly Destroyed Who I Did Come to Be–a Lightworker! Nonetheless, the scars, the mistrust remain.

My Applause for those with Courage enough (and the Friends outside) who’ll Dare do what she Did. We’re All One, and when Anyone suffers, We All Suffer; when I’m Well (and in time, I WILL) , so will All of Us!

Ubuntu and Namastè, my friends! (Hug a Weird Stranger This month).