Category Archives: I Am

Quick Update: Gaea Rises; Love & “Miracles” Abound

We always tend to believe all “bad” things that happen to, or around us are “unfortunate,” that Heaven has it in for me, and so forth. I’m in “Learning Mode” right now, happy with Life, and even happier to keep seeing little Miracles, following Heart-Wrenching Events.

My Mom passed away early last month, two weeks after I’d arrived at the Hospital crosscountry, from whose side I only made brief visits to the Cafeteria,  the Coffee, the Bathroom. For three days and two nights, I remained with her and–to her delight, had with me a small Bluetooth Speaker my Phone and an App I get Music from anywhere in the world; since we both Love Classical Music, she was soothed enough, even the Nurses commented she was improving. I spent our Time Talking, silently enjoying the Music, (her English Fading, giving way to our Native Portuguese), I also became her Interpreter/Translator–even to her English-only speaking Husband of 46 yrs–most of the time we’d trade places on the Recliner and an uncomfortable chair, keeping her Company.

He even felt Relieved enough to be free to go home to Rest, while I Volunteered (insisted) to Stay with her. Getting additional pillows, I made myself Comfortable, using the other chair as my footstool; whenever she needed something, rather than call the Nurses, she’d ask me to help her with. (It didn’t hurt I’m both an Empath and a Gendai Reiki Sage, so frequently just before she’d ask me for something, I was already arranging for it.

(NOTE: This wasn’t meant to be published, yet. It’s a Draft, an incomplete one, at that. Since I’m moving in a few days, that, must come first. ma89💗

UPDATE: Mom Left her “Space Suit” behind, shortly before I wrote the above. Rather than complete the thoughts written nearly 24 months ago, I’m Placing in Some of my Favorite Photos of her. (Unfortunately, THE VERY SET OF PHOTOS, JUST DAYS BEFORE LEAVING HER BODY—and the ones that mean the most to me, personally—are nowhere to be found. (I suspect this is of “Mom’s Doing;” Though “I” LOVE those photos, I got a feeling she “prefers I don’t publish them,,,thence their temporary “disappearance,” (when I know darn well, I’ve imported ALL PHOTOS, from my Entire Library in to this very device…). Okay, Mom, I won’t publish them… ma89🤷🏻‍♀️

A Classical Ballerina, (Mom), at Practice. 1943, SP, SP, Brasil
Mom, 17, practicing at the Bar, 1943, Teatro Municipal, SP. Brasil
(Mom-age unknown), Posing with her Beautiful Mid-length Ballet Tutú
Young Mom, Her Beautiful Midi Tutú, strikes casual pose.
Mom's
Mom’s “Turkey Dinner,” Ready for Holiday Meal.
Doodle: Late-Mom's Favorite Flowers, 2016
Doodle: Late-Mom’s Favorite Flowers, June 2016, by Clarisse
Parakeet Lolo

 Parakeet Lolo “Owns” Mom’s Shoulder, days before her Passing, May, 2016, 

Love IS The ONE and Only Way, to a Better Tomorrow. ma89💗

Advertisements

Goodbye Google-Goodbye to More…

NOTE: This Article was written approximately three months ago. Apparently, I never Did Publish it! It’s still Relevant, and I haven’t changed my Mind. The Only Reason I feel bad about it, is because—knowingly—what I deleted “There,” YouTube; was also deleted “Here.” Such was the fate of my Piano Videos, now more important than Ever… (See upcoming Posts, “Why?”).

Two weeks ago, running errands, around town, in the Late-Afternoon, returning Home, it suddenly Dawned on me: “there’s not a single place I’d gone to, by, or through, where—like a ‘ton of Tribbles, born already-pregnant—cognition came: Surveillance cameras were doubling-themselves-up; Reproducing themselves, (in in-your-face fashion), faster than those Tribbles, when The Enterprise™ was infested, by them (“The Trouble with Tribbles” episode, in Star Trek–the Original Series™). When I got home, While Listening to a couple of YouTube Podcasts, on the aforementioned Issue—reaching my last nm of tolerance—without even being concerned with all Deletions I’d have from other sites, I DISCONTINUED MY “GOOGLE” ACCOUNT, ALONG WITH ALL ITS SERVICES. (Hopefully Gone, Finitto, Caput…, I Deleted it All.

Since I use WP’s Complimentary Account, for both my blogs, I’m unable to Upload those Videos directly, within the WordPresss environment, my only choice having been uploading them first on YouTube, as required, then linking them, back to my corresponding Blog Entry.

They’re Gone! And so are my Links.!

It’s not in my Power to be able to pay, for these two sites (ma89, and gmf), thus, by my conscious Act, all but one Link are gone (“Clarisse TWU Interview,” found through residentskitz’s youtube channel, is the only one still available.

So sorry it had to be this way, and I’ve no regret having discontinued my Google Group Account. Indeed, I’ve missed it far less than I thought it would be!

“Mine Eyes, now Irrevocably-Opened, cannot be Closed, or just Squinted-from, any longer; for now The Truth is past being just “conspiracy theories,” but Glaring Fact of Life, climbing out of very dark rocks, insulting our Selfhood, our “Freewill,” compelling us into a fearful lifestyle, rather than making our Own “mistakes,” learning from them, ultimately, cognizing why, and correcting them… Surveillance is an ABERRANT Societal Ill, which—though already Quite Late, cannot be Silenced, by (pretending we’re) ignoring it, when in truth, slowly bringing utter sadness we waited so long, now it’s too late!

Pandora’s Box has bee Opened, and the only thing left for us, is the Last Item in her Box, IF we Shut it quickly-enough: “HOPE!”

May anyone truly deny it…, still?

As for me, (at least with Google Group Services), I say: “Good Riddance!” This will not be the only service, either. i shall be considering which one, next. (Calm Down! I don’t see myself closing these two Blogs, in the foreseeable time—unless it’s done by its host).

Celebrating manicartist89’s OneYear Anniversary :)) Yoohoo!!

Wow! Hard to believe it has already been one year, since I first launched manicartist89; Time sure went by incredibly fast. 

Since this (and all subsequent Anniversaries) will fall just to the side of the New Year, I’ll begin a Tradition Online, which I’ve been using for myself nearly 20 years or more  

You see, the Traditionally-established custom of “New Years Resolutions” is, in my way of Knowings, an Insidiously Destructive and Self-Defeating Practice, both Psychologically and Pathologically. 

Over twenty years ago–recognizing its destructiveness–I began a new Tradition, which has served me quite well; rather than being Self-defeating and Deflating, my Practice is Uplifting, Heart-Warming, Encouraging, Strengthening…, all the Good Stuff the other one lacks.

On New Year’s Eve:

  •  I Cleanse both my Physical, Spiritual and Ambiental Space, through Prayer, Incense Burning and Cleansing Body, Mind, and Home;
  • Once that’s done, my Spirit ready: I pick up my Journal, write a few Introductory Comments; I
  • Do a Mental Self-Assessment of the past year’s Successes, struggles, failures, and Overcoming Adversity (the latter being a really important one to acknowledge), Focusing Primarily on How Miraculous a Life this is, I’m experiencing–Listing only the Positive, Growth-Promoting, Successes, large and small;
  • I pick 10 of the Most Important and Meaningful, Perenially-Lasting Ones, List them one by one, with a one-liner commentary;
  • Re-Read them, Bless them, in Gratitude, Release them onto the Journal’s Page(s), all I’ve Victoriously Overcame, or (against all Odds), have Accomplished;
  • After that, I either Meditate for a short while, and/or pick-up my “Runes,” and do a Spread with a Simple, never-changing    

    Question: “What are the Aspects of the one or two most Salient, Important, Significant, or Paradigm-Shifting things, coming up in the Year beginning just now?”

    I then, insert my Right Hand inside the Bag , as I Shake it, to ensure the Runes Stones are well mixed, I pay attention to the ones remaining on my palm–usually between 1 and 3 stones; (over the years, I’ve come to comprehend there are no such things as “true” randomness, nor “coincidences,”only the Universe’s means of Guiding us, one Epiphany at a time–and from my Personal Experience, I’ve come to Learn much about the “Meaning of Life”-stuff, we all grapple with, from time to time, simply through this yearly practice. 

The following year, I re-read the Runes info, from the Previous year, and am always floored by their accuracy, though every New Year’s spread appears cryptic and/or incomprehensible the day they’re cast, a year later, I’m always Shocked at their accuracy. 

Thus, though it is not my place to insist everyOne should be Switching from a negative, self-esteem eroding practice such as “New Year’s Resolutions,” (or casting Runes), into the Uplifting, Encouraging, Self-Esteem-Strengthening, Positivity-building Practice, such what I call: “My Accomplishments List, for the Year 20__, “Life’s little Paradigm, guess what’ll be my First Item on this 2015 years’ List?

Manicartist89‘s 1-year Anniversary, of course–and I have All of You Who have Liked my Posts, made comments on this or that–I’ve even Enjoyed and Learned from, the Little Private “Sparring Argument” I had with another Blogger!

So, To Every-One, Who HAVE or WILL READ this BLOG: 

Thank You! My Followers, my Occasional Readers, my Friends, Family, from Here…, and the “Beyond:”

May the New Year of 2016 (a “9” in Numerology, indicating the Ending of one Cycle and the beginning of a New One, imagine It: Pregnant with New Possibilities, New Choices, New Roads to be Taken…, how exciting is that?), Bring to You, Yours, Your Loved Ones, (and Yes: even greatest Teachers: Your Detractors, Your Enemies), Everything Your Innermost Heart Wishes for, especially that which is for Yours and their Highest Good, Spiritual Growth, Evolution, and Experience of that which is the. Highest of All Laws: “Treating All, as You Too would like to Be Treated,” (in other words: Love–Total Acceptance, Unconditional, Unjudgemental, Non-Interfering…–💕LOVE💗

Namastè Every-One, 😀 ma89🌸

    Lovely Short Dream Lesson I’ve Found

    While leafing through an old Notebook–filled with Poetry, Insights, Essays, etc–I came Across this very short, May 20, 2004 Entry of a Dream Lesson I’d woken-up with, in my head. Here it is:

    “To whom do you offer assistance?” Was the question posed by the Traveler;

    “To Everyone, according to Their needs,” was the reply given.

    __________________
    Do with this what you may! ma89🌸

    Since my Knowings of Life, give me an Understanding that: “Coincidences are God’s way of pointing us into a certain action, or direction,” I tend to Follow the .

    I was actually looking for a Poem I wished to Post, and ran straight into this Dream, instead. It would be Nice if whoever this Entry Speaks to, or be Useful for, in some ways, to let us know, and see where it takes us.

    Have a Lovely Day, filled with the Principles of the Sanskrit word: “Namastè” ma89🌸

    A Milestone Reached :))

    Hi Fellow Bloggers and Friends in these wonderful Virtual WP Communities:

    You’re now Reading the Musings of Your newly-Minted “Shihen Gendai (Level IV, Sage/Teacher) Certified Reiki Master;” a culmination of nearly three (3) years Training and ReikiShare Practicing, under the Wonderful Mentorship of Mark Flamand (he’s got lots of Titles, but is not big on them 😉 in this Respect, I’ll follow in his Footsteps, and not even place my (well-earned, mind you) “Reiki Master” Title in my own mini-Business Cards. 

    While discussing it with someone the title “Sage” was suggested, to which I replied: “Wouldn’t that be a little too ‘Self-Aggrandizing‘?” Their reply: “Not in Your Case, it isn’t!…”

    Mulling over it, several days, I finally came to Agree with him. You see, at first, it wasn’t my Intention on obtaining Level IV (Master), unless you plan on Teaching it. At the time I wasn’t planning to.

    Two years went by, I progressed through Levels I, II, and III and by Level II, I found myself Frequently explaining Reiki to others–consequently, re-thinking my Choices, I Figured, having already been Teaching many Others the Basics of Reiki, anyway, at that point-and Only at that point, did I make the decision to take the “Master” Level.

    One of the biggest reasons I didn’t feel the need for this Title was the fact, I’d been Noticing Masters came in many Levels of Aware-Wakefulness; Of Skills; Of…(I can’t quite Put my Finger…)… on the Ineffable Quality–in conducting their Lives– I believed a Master ought to adhere to…!

    I don’t mean to be Judgemental, but in our (Reiki) Community I met way too many “Masters” Who neither Walk their Talk, (or Title), nor have any wish for Engaging in Teaching, yet their Business Card has “Master” in Bold Letters while their Name below is Plain Type. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

    Thus, with such a Gratuitous, enormous Proliferation of this Term, I decided not to use it!! I can choose the Term “Sage,” w/o feeling I’m Self-Agrandizing my ego. After all, this same Person had already been telling me I was a “Sage,” a “Teacher,” and “…when will you accept ‘donning’ that hat?” was his frequent question.

    I wasn’t Ready then, but Am now. Tomorrow night my “Esoteric” teaching debut takes place, when I’ll hold a Class on Runes 101, I’m a little Nervous, Aprehensive…, to be teaching a Roomfull of Sensitives–Psychics, Mediums, Claivoyants, other Runes-Casters, etc, something that–though Scary-Good at it, I’m Self-Taught!

    Lets Hope that in my Debut as a Sage I don’t fall flat in my face

    Namastè Everyone ma89🌸

    Watch “Angellis Traballium by Clarisse℠ ©(P)1995; ©(V.P)…” on YouTube

    Angellis Traballium by Clarisse ©(P)1995; ©(V.P) 2015

    Well, All efforts to get this video published any other way have failed. I’m giving it another try–wish I could afford to go Premium, I’d publish an entire Album of my Piano Music.

    OTOH, soon, I’ll be moving closer to my Spiritual Family–and there’s this Gorgeous, (and Gorgeous-sounding), 100-yr-old, very well-kept Cunningham Concert Grand Upright waiting for me, as soon as I move.

    Problem is: Life keeps getting in the way of my moving–the latest, being finding out that only is there Nerve Damage, between my feet and spine; I’ve “mysteriously” developed “Scoliosis,” never before detected, and worst yet, learning that my “Falling” and “Walking as if I’m drunk” is partially ‘cuz “…apparently one of my legs is longer than the other…”

    Why did it take 60 years, a 5-yr stint in a wheelchair (actually, 3 chairs), a failed marriage, when my Rock-Singing husband again felt Music’s Irresistible Siren call (look up Warren Jeffrey Motter), and, as a Musician myself, I understood it, and though initially I missed him, of course; eventually, I got over it, and am Happy for him following his Muse.

    Why did it take at least two (2) Decades’-worth of searching for the answer, from Doctor, to Doctor, to Doctor, from Houston, from York, to Hershey, to Johns Hopkins, back to York…, (I’ll finish this later, or I’ll be late for Church tomorrow…)

    Meanwhile, Shut-off your “Golden Ears” and enjoy the Music, overlooking the fact my Baldwin piano is now untuneable. The Song and ITS Message are What Matters.

    Namastè,

    (Note, my Posts, by nature, will reflect what is foremost in my mind, be it Health, Mental, Spiritual, Activist, etc. This blog is not meant to be in a Popularity Contest–and I know many of you feel the same way about your Blogs 😉
    __________
    (Entry from previous, failed post, introing same song:

    Hi Everyone, Since I’m having soo much trouble Uploading this Video directly onto Gaea’s Midwife’s (Sister site to this one)–and since on my very first aattempt at Linking it with this Site…, I can “get” a hint: It appears the Universe wishes for this Musical Interlude be here, in my ma89 site, rather than the gaea’s midwife site.

    So, here it is! Short and sweet; my 1995 Original Piece, “Angellis Traballium” (perhaps, sometime, soon, I’ll tell the Story of how it came into Existence, because I KNOW it’s a Story worth telling). Angellis Traballium by Clarisse

    Namastè Everyone, and Enjoy! (WARNING: “Golden Eareds” are advised to skip it, lest your hearing goes out of tune 😉 (see notes on the youtube site). 😉

    An “About me” that became a Post

    About Me: Artist, Journalist, Piano Composer, Performer; Lifelong Advocate for Acommodations, for the “Invisibly dis-Abled”, on Par to That Afforded and Accorded to both: the Physically, and Intellectually-Challenged Populations, but NOT Us! There are Unjust, Asinine Laws in place, SPECIFICALLY SINGLING-OUT the Neuro-Biologically dis-Abled, for INFERIOR, USSR-like, LIMITED “(Mental) Health Care.”

    We’re stuck with mediocre “5-minute-‘psychiatrists’,” who never bother making eye-contact, herding us, into their make-shift “Office,” eyes stuck on their Laptops; ask a few Pre-set questions, click “send” on the computer, with their prescriptions renewal directly to your Pharmacy; gets up from their chair, walks towards the door, herding you right out–THERE’s NO HUMAN INTERACTION, WHATSOEVER! (Speaking with other Individuals, from other Counties, we’ve concluded this to be a Wide Phenomenon, not just in my County).

    This neglect by design of my Group of Individuals (see Blog‘s Name) is an abhorrent way of dealing with the 1 in 4 Americans, who’ll experience such circumstances in their Lifetimes! And, BTW, (at least in my State), if One is a “Dual Eligible” Patient (i.e.: Have Both Medicare AND Medicaid)–Psychiatrically-speaking–One is literally “Screwed

    By LAW, EVEN IF WE PAY CASH TO THE PSYCHIATRIST OF OUR CHOICE, IT’s ILLEGAL FOR THAT PSYCHIATRIST TO SEE YOU…, (I know! I had a Hard time Believing it, too…, until I Researched it, and found there was Indeed such a Law).

    (Considering all the Propaganda, and Fear-Mongering going on in the Mainstream media, about “Mentally-Disturbed,” and worst, as “Souless Killers“), this “Law” is one of the most Absurd, Discriminatory, Dangerous, Ridiculous, Asinine, Preposterous, Corrupt Laws I’ve ever heard about.

    And furthermore, it is Taylor-made to affect an already-Embattled, Maligned, unjustly Feared, unjustly Treated, easily-killed by “Authorities, (barely) trained in Mental Health Issues…,

    the most extremely Vulnerable of ALL this Country‘s…, Nay, the World’s Populations–those with Severe Mental Illness, (now quaintly designated within the Medical and Insuring Professions: “SMIs which is one more way to: 1. Dehumanize us/further exacerbating Stigma; and 2. Dilute out the Significance of the Truth:

    “We’re Individuals, going through Life, with the Added Burden of Living and Dealing with one (or more) SEVERE MENTAL ILLNESS…,” (“SMIs!” How quaintly Insulting this Acronym is)!

    Au Contraire–In SPITE of this Willful Neglect by Society and Authorities alike; In SPITE of Stigma, We’re thriving, as Artists, Writers, Poets, Painters, Thinkers, Visionaries, Presidents, Movers and Shakers, Governors, Cultural Creatives,…, ALL OF WHOM carry within themSelves this awful Stigma-based Secret:what’‘ll happen if my Constituency (my Fans, my Board of Directors, the Guy Running for Office, who suddenly stopped answering your Communications, for whom you were to play the Piano…) finds out I’m on an “Anti-Mania,” or an “Anti-Psychotic,” or an “Anti-Anxiety” Medication?

    I’ll be ‘Ruined’!” So they Distance themselves from You…, as if You’ve the Plague!

    Of course, in a Society ruled by sane people, this scenario wouldn’t occur. Too bad the opposite is the Truth.

    I’m Done! (With the Diatribe portion).


    I may Write about much and diverse Subjects, most gleaned from my Own “Buttons”–which Life has pushed on me–to figure out how to deal with.

    Underneath it ALL, the Underlying “raisón d’être” for All I Do, Comes Back to a Single Purpose: “Living and Dealing with Life–its challenges, epiphanies, Spiritual Growth and Joy, whilst Surviving and Thriving In Spite of a DevastatinglyLife-and-Relationships-Disrupting Condition called: “Manic Depression.” (I don’t like calling it “Bipolar” as there are huge amounts of Misinformation, Misconception and Double-Speak in its “Bipolar-…” Nomenclature).


    It’s Time I’d Show the World the Real “Face of “Mental Illness:” (mine)

    Featured image

    Photo, Self-Portrait, by Clarisse, 2011, PA, USA

    Here it is, World: The Face of an “SMI” Individual!.

    (Do I Look “Crazy” to You?) Me neither!


    Finally: What Defines me Best?

    I’m An Advocate! Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow…, until my Natural Transition Time comes.🙂 ma89