Category Archives: Fragile Minds

Hopes for a Loving Fall/Winter – Following Horrendous Summer

Where has Summer Gone? (It Didn’t Exist for me, at all–I Faced so many Challenges…)

Now, Tired, Weary, Somewhat Cynnical, Still facing Huge Challenges,

Though still Flumoxed on How I’ll Overcome them, I Know I WILL;


Unsure where I found this Photo below, but am always Moved and Encouraged by the Story it represents

It’s based on an Allegory, I’ll Paraphrase here:

Someone, who’d gone through excessive Travails, was shocked to see only one set of footsteps in the sand. Upon questioning Jesus about it, asking Him “Why hast thou abandoned me, at the worst of my times?” Jesus lovingly replied “It was at those times that I was carrying you…”

Footsteps in the Sand ❤

Unsure where I found this, but I've always found its meaning Moving and Encouraging


I Wrote the Following this Morning, during Breakfast, and Hope it is of Benefit to Others, as Well as to my Self.

  • May I have the Presence of Mind: Not to be Tricked, by People, Companies, Anything;
  • May I have the Astuteness: To always Ensure All Questions are answered, Before making a Decision;
  • May I Remain Connected to my Higher Self, my Intuition: and Always Listen to MySelf;
  • May My Heart Remain Calm: When faced with Setbacks;
  • May my ego move out of the way: When dealing with Outsourced Customer/Tech Services;
  • May I REMEMBER: EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE are MY BROTHERS & SISTERS IN SPIRIT;
  • TREAT THEM WITH LOVE… ❤

That’s it, for today.

Namastè, ma89🙂

What Makes a Friendship, a *Friend*-*ship?*

(by Necessity, this wil have to be sort of Generic, and non-specific to either time nor circumstance--lest anyone may be adversely 
affected)

It is incredibly frustrating–dealing with the vagaries of living with Attention Deficit Disorder; 4 Concussions, (3 in my Childhood, from falling, or running away from Bullies; one from being Assaulted at a Drive-in Theater, as a Young Adultall four Injuring the back of the Head, right at the bottom of the Skull; all four affecting my Frontal Lobe–nowadays, though the causes (war, rather than childhood carelessness, bullies) are different, the resulting “TBI,” or “Post-Concussive Syndrome”  is identical, and devastating.

When One must go through Life, with these added (Invisibly pervasively-disruptive, yet nearly-undetectable), dis-Abilities, misunderstandings, missed-out Social Cues, misinterpreted Actions, Disastrous Decisions, and/or Reactions are indeed par for the course, and (hard as it may be to Forgive OneSelf One’s perceived Guilt, or Pain), it is at these times it is Imperative we Lift Up our View, striving to See the Bigger Picture(s).

It is also Essential to Cultivate within One’s Self the Capacity of Total and Complete Forgiveness of Self–for Your Actions; of Others–for becoming inadvertently Hurt, (at times) Furious, (frequently) Angry and Frustrated enough to End the formerly Great Friendship. When this occurs, I’m unsure to Whom I feel more Compassion, and Sorrow for: The Friend, who in their Hurt State of Mind, Huffs and Puffs, indignantly, (leading the Other to make even more Confused, likely-uneeded, premature, impulsive, regrettable) Decisions–the Friendship Cracked Open…; Friends-no more; or the Other, who in their Unreliably Frontal Lobe’s Confusion and Perplexing Thought Process, Acts, or Says Something Irrevocably-Unpardonable…, at least, by the average Human Being, anyway–only to (if not immediately), soon after, albeit, too late, wish they could take it back.

For the Second time in five (5) years, my (Invisibly dis-)Abled, (miswired) Brain, caused a Rift with the second of my two Best Friends–Who, in turn, (Interpreting my Innocently-Meant Efforts at Mitigating a Greater Stress on the Friendship), as Insultingly-Disrespectful; I’ve no Idea, at this time, whether and if our Friendship can or will survive my brain’s malfeasance.

The Consequences from Miscommunicated Intentions            

(It’s been three months, since I began writing this; and truthfully, I don’t remember where I intended to go with this. Nonetheless, the portions I Had written before, are still relevant. Moreover, anyone who experiences any and/or all the above or similar conditions, will Understand perfectly where I intended to go with it, and be able to fill in the blanks. As for me, frankly, apologizing constantly gets old very fast…, it can even get you fired–this latter one I’ve experienced myself, so I Know it to be True! Therefore, no apologies for an unfinished post; the Third One in One day–Oops! I must be Manic😞…                                                           

An “About me” that became a Post

About Me: Artist, Journalist, Piano Composer, Performer; Lifelong Advocate for Acommodations, for the “Invisibly dis-Abled”, on Par to That Afforded and Accorded to both: the Physically, and Intellectually-Challenged Populations, but NOT Us! There are Unjust, Asinine Laws in place, SPECIFICALLY SINGLING-OUT the Neuro-Biologically dis-Abled, for INFERIOR, USSR-like, LIMITED “(Mental) Health Care.”

We’re stuck with mediocre “5-minute-‘psychiatrists’,” who never bother making eye-contact, herding us, into their make-shift “Office,” eyes stuck on their Laptops; ask a few Pre-set questions, click “send” on the computer, with their prescriptions renewal directly to your Pharmacy; gets up from their chair, walks towards the door, herding you right out–THERE’s NO HUMAN INTERACTION, WHATSOEVER! (Speaking with other Individuals, from other Counties, we’ve concluded this to be a Wide Phenomenon, not just in my County).

This neglect by design of my Group of Individuals (see Blog‘s Name) is an abhorrent way of dealing with the 1 in 4 Americans, who’ll experience such circumstances in their Lifetimes! And, BTW, (at least in my State), if One is a “Dual Eligible” Patient (i.e.: Have Both Medicare AND Medicaid)–Psychiatrically-speaking–One is literally “Screwed

By LAW, EVEN IF WE PAY CASH TO THE PSYCHIATRIST OF OUR CHOICE, IT’s ILLEGAL FOR THAT PSYCHIATRIST TO SEE YOU…, (I know! I had a Hard time Believing it, too…, until I Researched it, and found there was Indeed such a Law).

(Considering all the Propaganda, and Fear-Mongering going on in the Mainstream media, about “Mentally-Disturbed,” and worst, as “Souless Killers“), this “Law” is one of the most Absurd, Discriminatory, Dangerous, Ridiculous, Asinine, Preposterous, Corrupt Laws I’ve ever heard about.

And furthermore, it is Taylor-made to affect an already-Embattled, Maligned, unjustly Feared, unjustly Treated, easily-killed by “Authorities, (barely) trained in Mental Health Issues…,

the most extremely Vulnerable of ALL this Country‘s…, Nay, the World’s Populations–those with Severe Mental Illness, (now quaintly designated within the Medical and Insuring Professions: “SMIs which is one more way to: 1. Dehumanize us/further exacerbating Stigma; and 2. Dilute out the Significance of the Truth:

“We’re Individuals, going through Life, with the Added Burden of Living and Dealing with one (or more) SEVERE MENTAL ILLNESS…,” (“SMIs!” How quaintly Insulting this Acronym is)!

Au Contraire–In SPITE of this Willful Neglect by Society and Authorities alike; In SPITE of Stigma, We’re thriving, as Artists, Writers, Poets, Painters, Thinkers, Visionaries, Presidents, Movers and Shakers, Governors, Cultural Creatives,…, ALL OF WHOM carry within themSelves this awful Stigma-based Secret:what’‘ll happen if my Constituency (my Fans, my Board of Directors, the Guy Running for Office, who suddenly stopped answering your Communications, for whom you were to play the Piano…) finds out I’m on an “Anti-Mania,” or an “Anti-Psychotic,” or an “Anti-Anxiety” Medication?

I’ll be ‘Ruined’!” So they Distance themselves from You…, as if You’ve the Plague!

Of course, in a Society ruled by sane people, this scenario wouldn’t occur. Too bad the opposite is the Truth.

I’m Done! (With the Diatribe portion).


I may Write about much and diverse Subjects, most gleaned from my Own “Buttons”–which Life has pushed on me–to figure out how to deal with.

Underneath it ALL, the Underlying “raisón d’être” for All I Do, Comes Back to a Single Purpose: “Living and Dealing with Life–its challenges, epiphanies, Spiritual Growth and Joy, whilst Surviving and Thriving In Spite of a DevastatinglyLife-and-Relationships-Disrupting Condition called: “Manic Depression.” (I don’t like calling it “Bipolar” as there are huge amounts of Misinformation, Misconception and Double-Speak in its “Bipolar-…” Nomenclature).


It’s Time I’d Show the World the Real “Face of “Mental Illness:” (mine)

Featured image

Photo, Self-Portrait, by Clarisse, 2011, PA, USA

Here it is, World: The Face of an “SMI” Individual!.

(Do I Look “Crazy” to You?) Me neither!


Finally: What Defines me Best?

I’m An Advocate! Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow…, until my Natural Transition Time comes.🙂 ma89